Life Stages

All right, I'm just going to admit it. I'm going to admit one of my hidden desires that creeped up on me last fall. So here goes- a couple of months ago, I may have wanted a baby...

Yes, I know, at that point Mark and I had been married for only 6 months. And yes, I know, there are plenty of things that Mark and I want to do before we carry diapers in my purse rather than wine openers (because you must always be prepared!). And yes, I'm still a feminist. Nevertheless, the baby desire was present and strangely strong. And yet I couldn't quite figure out why. What had happened to me?

My diagnosis? I think that I was feeling more comfortable in my married skin and so I was looking for the next exciting life stage. Now this is difficult for me to admit, primarily because it reveals that I'm all talk. I love to talk about finding beauty in the mundane and being fully present in my context, but really, when push comes to shove ... I just want excitement. And strangely enough, the excitement of having a baby seemed like the next logical step to me. And of course, Mark thoroughly disagreed.

Of course, this baby-desire would wax and wane throughout the past few months, but it came to a halting stop about 2 weeks ago. Mark and I spent a long weekend in my glorious homeland- Northern California. We had a wonderful time with my family, being around when my sister got engaged (way to go, Isaac!), wedding dress shopping, and last but not at all least, hanging out with the cutest nieces and nephew in the world (Exhibit A). And may I say, Uncle Mark and Auntie Em were quite a hit with the kiddos this weekend. These dear kids are such a joy!

But as quickly as that 'baby-desire/discontent with my life stage' came, it left. Mark was prepared for me to be extra baby-desirous after spending time in California. And although my desire to eventually have children deepened, I was reminded of how special this time of our lives is, and that I shouldn't wish it away. Having the freedom to give our time to others, having tons of people over for dinner, enjoying the beauty of our mundane lives, these are wonderful things that I should cherish. With each stage of life comes excitement and banality. But we are called to be content in the midst of it all, and to live each stage to its fullest. And I believe that the New DeLews have a lot more to learn and enjoy in this stage of life.