All up in your business

The other day, my parents asked the New DeLews what we liked about living in the city. We said that we love public transportation and the fact that you can't help but be nominally involved in everyone's business. Whether it's someone asking for money on the El, talking on their cell phone about the most recent vampire movie, or listening to an insanely loud heavy metal song on their ipod, you notice (and sometimes, if we're honest, you judge). But all that to say, I love the raw-ness of it. There's a certain part of it that seems real to me- the city makes thousands of different worlds collide, and at times it can be a huge nuisance because I really don't want to overhear about what your friend's girlfriend said to her cousin's ex-boyfriend. But I'm forced to hear it and recognize this daily world-collision.

Well the day after we talked to my parents about this, the four of us found ourselves on a ridiculously crowded bus where everyone was all up in everyone's grill, and most people were desperately trying to avoid how uncomfortable it was. And of course, at the front of a bus, two babies were screaming at the tops of their lungs and hitting at each other while the tired mom casually swatted away their punches of fury. Most of the people on the bus judged, but everyone was inconvenienced. After about 15 minutes of straight child-screaming, an older man from the back of the bus yelled to the tired mom, 'Hey I've got a belt if you'd like to use it!" The entire bus chuckled. Everyone was thinking the same thing.

Well today, I experienced what I would call a 'She actually just said that!?!' moment. On my morning commute I boarded a very crowded bus that only had a few open seats in the back. So I walked to the back of the bus and noticed that one lady (let's call her Bag Lady) had strategically placed her purse on the seat next to her. And when I walked up to her, she again, strategically, did not acknowledge my presence. Now I realize that this may be appropriate on airplanes, but not on Chicago transportation. You move your damn bag so that a person can have a seat. But all that to say, I just moved to a seat right behind that lady. Unbeknownst to me another woman (let's call her 'Crazy Bold Lady') had noticed the entire 'not moving the bag' incident. Out of the blue, Crazy Bold Lady absolutely exploded and started verbally assaulting the Bag Lady. And the conversation went like this:

Crazy Bold Lady: You know, you should really move your stupid bags so that a human can sit down. It is absolutely rude to just place your bags on a seat in such a busy bus. Who do you think you are!?
Bag Lady: (visibly flustered) Well I didn't notice!!
Crazy Bold Lady: Well you need to stop being so selfish and start noticing people around you!! Why do you think your bags deserve to have a seat more than these people. It's real nice of you to allow everyone to stand so that you don't have to place your bags on your precious lap!
Bag Lady: All right! I said I didn't notice!! Have a NICE TUESDAY!!! (as she angrily puts her bags on her lap and pretends to start reading)
Crazy Bold Lady: Well there ya go, NOW you're actually being courteous! For ONCE!

And an awkward silence rested upon the entire bus. But you know what we were all thinking? I can't believe the Crazy Bold Lady actually said that!! I've thought all of those things, and when I'm really ridiculous, envisioned myself actually saying them. But this lady actually said it! Wowza. And although I was mildly amused by the whole situation, and oddly impressed by Crazy Bold Lady's sudden verbal vomit, I felt bad for the Bag Lady. Yes, she was not being very courteous, but she probably wasn't being malicious with her bag. But regardless, she became the victim of the Crazy Bold Lady's wrath. It was actually a really sad encounter to witness. She was so quick to judge the Bag Lady, without having any real understanding of what's going on. And yet it's so easy to do that, especially when your world is completely colliding with someone else's on the bus. But if I'm going to be a person defined by grace, I know that I must relinquish my desire to judge and be willing to imagine someone's life outside of my brief, annoying encounter. It's absolutely unnatural to me, but I've got to try.